If that was your dad, he is hot
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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