Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
