Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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