I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
