I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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