whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
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