Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
