I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
