I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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