You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm sobbing to NWA
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize