We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
