The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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