They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I love you. Go after that dick
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
