i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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