A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
