It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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