He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
