you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
