you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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