Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
