i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
