NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize