We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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