dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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