he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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