Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
