I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
