Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
