Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
