hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
