omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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