oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
