I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
