Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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