We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
