Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
