1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
