it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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