he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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