is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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