that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
