wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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