just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
