He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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