I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
