so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
