so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize