i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
