oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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