The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
