Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
