I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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