4 words: hood of his car
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
