Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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