i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
