getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
