she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
