Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize