Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
bring money and cleavage
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
