Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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