Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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