I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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