My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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