it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
